Fair and Balanced? More Like Hard and Throbbing

Why does the most famous of alumni from my alma mater have to go and fuck things up for everyone else and make us look bad? If Rick Smits gets into a sex scandal, I'm going to have to start telling people that I went to URI.

Bil - am I allowed to say 'fuck' here? [ed. note -- Fuck no you can't]

Footnote - I can't wait to see 'Team America: World Police'

4 Responses to “Fair and Balanced? More Like Hard and Throbbing”

  1. Bil Says:

    The most famous alumni from my school are Newt Gingrich and Jerry Springer, so, uhh… Oh yeah, and Neil “I thought the young Asian girl that showed up at my hotel door and gave me a blowjob was really just interested in me and was not in fact paid for by my family’s business contacts” Bush. Did I lose you with that? I’ll just say the President’s even-more-of-a-shit brother. Now he sells educational software to Saudi madrasses. Nice legacy there.

  2. Em Says:

    My favorite alumn from my school is Alan Shawn Feinstein! No wait, Bob Ballard (discoverer of the Titanic). He’s so quotable…

    “Instead of ‘Houston, we have a problem,’ it will be, ‘Kingston, we have a problem.” - 10/13/04

  3. Mike Says:

    I saw Team America last sunday and it…is…fucking…hilarious.

    America! FUCK YEAH!

  4. Grace Says:

    Hey, I graduated from Williams, where GEORGE STEINBRENNER is a member of the class of ‘52.

    We also have Stephen Sondheim, but we have a lot to live down - especially because Bill Bennett is also an alum.

Leave a Reply