A Cry for Help

In case anyone is wondering, I'm ecstatic that Jason Giambi has been outed as the cheating biotch that he is. As if there was any doubt about his use of "performance enhancing" injections into his ass (must… fight… Jeter-bashing… joke… involving testosterone (a component of semen) injections in the butt) after he showed up to spring training this year looking like one of those Russian nesting dolls missing the outer layer.

And now that there aren't any doubts about the unbreakability of a particular non-existent "curse", we can pretty clearly state that the two HGH fueled home runs Giambi hit off Pedro in Game 7 last year cost us a 2003 World Series berth. (Perhaps you've heard about that game? Aaron Boone hit a walkoff homer in extra innings. In case no one had mentioned that to you recently.) Toss his parasite infested body out of MLB, I say. Or better yet, force the Yankees to play Juiceless Giambi for the remainder of his ill-gotten contract.