The headline read "
Rhode Island fares well in national study of obesity." Apparently, our little state has the third lowest obesity rate among adults. Well yeah, but look at the competition. Being the skinniest guy at the Krispy Kreme Konvention isn't exactly Kate Moss-ish (she's still our culture's yardstick of skin-and-bone-ism, right?)
Still, we should be happy that only one in five Rhode Islanders are considered obese (although every other one of us Ocean Staters is overweight). Or, as sandwich maker Lily Hall says, "We're chubbies. Not to be mean, but I think a lot of us are chubbies." Better, 16-year-old mall slave Spencer Stolle is "surprised. I thought everyone in Warwick was fat." Ouch, Warwick.
If you're wondering whether you'd be considered obese, or, like me, just terribly overweight, you can punch in your numbers here and get your body mass index, or BMI, the number used in this study to determine fattiness. BMIs of 25-29 are overweight, 30 and over are obese (unless you're especially muscular or willing to lie to yourself that you are).
include('http://www.bilherron.com/cryforhelp/php/bmi.php');
If that form doesn't work, tough noogies, I don't have time to whip up perfect programs for you. Just take your weight and multiply it by 703, then take that number and divide it by your height in inches, then divide that number by your height in inches again. Fun, no?
So maybe if we all take the stair from now on and park at the back of the lot, we'll push RI to number one least obese. And then our one-eyed state will rule the land of the blind! (figuratively, of course)
Whew! Just squeezed in with a 24!