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We get letters! Well, not we exactly. More like "I read the ProJo letters section and yell at no one in particular while having my morning coffee." Close enough. Anyway, this morning's coffee-out-the-nose moment came via a WWII vet who related a story of how, during war time, battling the Japanese, his destroyer shot at some Japanese attackers, thus saving American shipmens' lives. Then he said this:

Our captain, who had had a ship sunk under him, had us at general quarters with all guns manned at every dawn and sunset. A pre-emptive strike saved our ship and its crew.

Thus, he says, we've gotta nuke Iran and North Korea. Not to pick on someone who served our country, especially on Veterans Day, but can someone kindly explain to Mr. Cruise, who, it seems, did not avail himself of the GI Bill, what pre-emption really means?

It's time for my "every-three-month-or-so" apology post. I've been feeling a little swamped, and I do hate neglecting y'all (I'm reaching out to thems voters what gots morals there). I just haven't been able to sit down and take some time to whip out a decent post or two these past few days, and the next few don't seem too promising for that either. I have about eight books piled on my desk, not counting the three I returned to the library today, plus another one that showed up unexpectedly from Ultra Laser (thanks again, buddy!). And it's not as if I don't have good stuff. I half wrote a longish (for me) entry about My Favorite Republican® Lincoln Chafee. I saw Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry's fame give a great talk involving Oreos that I hope to eventually retell here. How about John Ashcroft? Will the allegorical boobs soar like the eagles once again? Also, it turns out we're at war with Iraq again. Didn't we win that thing already? Like, a million years ago when Survivor All Stars was on? The blogs are afire with good stuff that I can barely keep up with reading (here's a fun one: Jesusland wants to expel us decadent elitists). Plus I found some websites that link back here that I didn't know about. In those rare cases I like to make a post linking back to them because I don't have one of those fancy list-a-ma-job thingies on A Cry for Help (blogroll). So maybe I'll get to that stuff, provided I can master application development with Flash MX 2004 Professional by Saturday night (I'm on page 13...) In the meantime, hopefully Mike or Nightwing or Gabriel Stoel or someone else will step up the posting. Em probably could have posted a Fish Stuff Friday this week about our new lettuce nudibranch, but today I came home and it had somehow gotten itself chopped up into little pieces. I swear. Frickin' invertebrates.

I would so love to go see this. But alas, i've got too many commitments this week; Modest Mouse tonight at Radio City, Pedro the Lion tomorrow night and Steven Wright on thursday. I hope this happens and get videotaped, and then winds up on the internets.

Texas-Sized Brother has work for you.

On Wednesday, a board member charged that the proposed new books ran counter to a Texas law banning the recognition of gay civil unions because the texts used terms like "married partners" instead of "husband and wife." After hearing the debate Thursday, one publisher agreed to include a definition of marriage as a "lifelong union between a husband and a wife." Another changed phrases such as "when two people marry" and "partners" to "when a man and a woman marry" and "husbands and wives."

They call them "asexual stealth phrases." You know, all part of the radical liberal homosexual agenda. Supposedly the school board only has the authority to order corrections in the case of factual errors, but who needs silly rules when creative children could potentially think of homos. Not to mention the demonstrably false fact that marriage is a lifelong anything. Don't worry, though, it's for the children. Think of the children!!

Today, President Bush said "We've worked hard and gained many new friends, and the result is now clear: a record voter turnout, and a broad nationwide victory." Good to know that we northeasterners aren't considered part of the nation. Or the Upper Midwest. Ditto for the West Coast. And but for 150,000 Ohio voters, this election would have had the opposite outcome. Liberals voted against Bush. Moderates voted against Bush. This is a broad, nationwide victory?

John Kerry concedes. I'm a little surprised, given the dim glimmer of hope they were holding on to in Ohio. Let the recriminations begin, and oh will it be nasty. I got an email from the RI Politics listserv with the subject line "GWB = God Wishes Bush". Another one said "Now we can safely bomb the terrorists hideouts eg Paris France, etc." Welcome to 21st century America, folks. Every instant message I've gotten this morning has been borderline despondant. Buck up guys, it's a weird world that we live in. The next four years are going to be EXTREMELY interesting. I'm especially looking forward to what happens in 2008 when Roe v. Wade gets overturned by newly minted hardline conservative judges on the Supreme Court. Also, A Cry for Help news is now projecting that George W. Bush has killed Rhode Island icon Salty Brine.

So I woke up early this morning and decided to roll out and vote. I headed over to Oaklawn school because I never legally changed by address from Cranston to Warwick. Coffee in hand I strolled in, saw no line, gave my name and was promptly told that I wasn't on the list. In 2000 I registered and requested an absentee ballot. It never came. I assumed that it was lost in the mail, but after today I assume that my registration was completely hosed. I know, I know, I should have checked. I was given the option to drive to city hall to cast a vote for president (sorry folks - not worth my time in a state that always goes blue), or to fill out one of these fancy new provisional ballots. I wanted to vote yes on props 11 and 14 (arts bonds and 50 is million for quonset point) so I went for the provisional ballot. I proudly connected my arrows with a black marker (RI is crazy), sealed my ballot, and inserted it into a burlap sack (obviously so it can be easily burned and disposed of). I was dissapointed that my vote probably won't count, but what I was most pissed about (aside from the fact that I woke up early for nothing), was the fact that there was no way for me to register to vote. They basically said, you can't vote, go fuck off. I would have been much happier if after being denied the right to vote I could fill out a voter registration form and have it checked so I can be sure that my vote will count next time around. I had to go back to work and register to vote online. That sucks. At first I thought that I wasted my time waking up to cast a provisional ballot. After thinking about it I realized that I did something really important today. After casting a provisional ballot, I technically voted - now P. Diddy is less likely to kill me. Thank god.

Well, it looks like Don Carcieri's gigantic magnified eyeballs weren't enough to beat back the old guy in the URI sweatshirt. Early results show, by my count, that the makeup of the RI House will be 60 Democrats to 15 Republicans, and the State Senate will be 7 Republicans to 31 Democrats. That's, like, not good. Luckily, as expected, Separation of Powers passed by an Obama-like margin, 3-to-1. Question 2 is close, but looks like it's going down. So at least two more years of our quaint little sewer of corruption on Smith Hill. The rest of the state couldn't be more boring, almost all the incumbents won, as expected. And it will be a miracle if we find out who wins Ohio tonight.

Keep your eyes on these important states at their appointed hours: 8pm EST: New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Florida (both time zones), Missouri, and Ohio 9pm EST: Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, New Mexico, Colorado, and of course, Rhode Island It should be all but over if they can call winners in those states, but at 10pm EST polls will close in Iowa and Nevada. Most likely we'll know all we need to know by seeing who wins two out of these three: Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida. Grab some Sam Adams (another Massachusetts patriot) and hopefully we'll be toasting President-elect Kerry by 10pm.

I just voted in Warwick, and man did that feel goooood. This was the first time I've voted in person, so I can't compare turnout. There was a small line that moved pretty quickly. I can't believe some of the lines they are showing on TV. Steve at AI is blogging for the Jimmy Fund, so if you've been extra bad this year, suck up to Santa by voting and kicking a few bucks towards the favorite charity of the World Champion Red Sox (!)

I just finalized my ballot. There are seven races on my card, from President down to school board. I voted for two Democrats, a Republican, a Green, an Independent and a Red Sox DH. How's that for splitting your ticket? The school board was non-partisan (hey 'wicks, vote Lucy Mota-Costa). Also I'm approving 9 out of 14 referenda. I was going to follow the strong, steady leadership of George W. Bush and vote for all the borrowing referenda because my kids, not I, will have to pay for it, but I decided to show a little restraint.

Remember, tomorrow, on the back of your ballot, there are 14 questions that ask for your approval or rejection. Twelve of 14 are borrowing proposals, but the first two are about the state constitution. Question 1asks whether you'd like to rewrite the constitution to add restrictions to the General Assembly, which has wielded unbalanced powers since RI was a colony. Question 2 asks whether or not a Constitutional Convention will be held, in which 75 elected delegates from around the state can debate and put forward amendments for voters to approve or deny. This question is asked once every 10 years. I watched a local political roundtable on channel 10 this Sunday, and they touched on both questions. Unfortunately, they seem to have gone out of their way to emulate Crossfire, and advocates for both sides just said the other side was wrong. Well yay for democracy! I have no idea who was right. Question 1, which is more commonly known as the Separation of Powers amendment, enjoys wide support, and for good reason. We take our individuality seriously here in the Biggest Little, but it really is time to join the rest of the nation in having a balanced government. Question 2 is a little more contentious. Arguments for holding the convention include opening the way for reforms without legislative and lobbyist input, exercising small-d democratic practices, and raising the level of civic discourse in the state. The downside could be opening the Constitution for divisive changes that will roll back civil rights, the potential for special-interest tampering and the unnecessary $2 million price tag. Pro-Q2: Operation Clean Government, Governor Carcieri, Cool Moose Bob Healey, and the Providence Journal. Anti-Q2: Common Cause RI, RI ACLU, and a whole list of single-issue advocacy groups (.pdf). I'm really not sure which way I'm going to vote. The potential positives are a host of needed and excellent reforms. The negative of amending the constitution with a 50%+1 (as opposed to going through the long hard slog of legislative amending) majority can introduce some nasty stuff. I'd rather not see our fundamental legal document tweaked in that manner. I guess it's a matter of cynicism. If you think an honest group of engaged citizens can get together and debate good reforms for our government, vote yes. If you're worried that a slate of unaccountable insiders will stack the delegate deck or simple majorities will want to roll back things like gay rights or reproductive rights, vote no. I'm honestly not sure how I feel. It's late, but if anyone wants to weigh in on how they feel about this question, I'd love to have you comment.